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Was I able to successfully breastfeed twins? That’s a loaded question with a subjective answer, so I’ll let you be the judge after you have read through our twin breastfeeding journey.
I say “our” journey because breastfeeding affected each person in our family – the twins, as consumers, me, as the milk source, my husband, as the most amazing support person ever, and our two older children, as the siblings who were frequently being told “no” because of the twins’ need to nurse.
My goal in sharing our experience is to first and foremost encourage you to try breastfeeding your twins. But just as importantly, I want to offer some practical tips and ideas to relieve the anxiety and overwhelm that just may be taking up residence in your heart.
We became a family of six when twin baby girls joined our family as baby number three and baby number four. To keep a very long story short, I previously had a heartbreaking and discouraging breastfeeding experience with our first child, but then I had an overall successful and pleasant experience breastfeeding our daughter four years later.
I am thankful for both experiences, however, because I believe it took the pressure off me when I was pregnant and anticipating breastfeeding twins. I knew that I was capable of breastfeeding after having gained some confidence with my daughter, but I can assure you (from real life experience) that a formula-fed baby can be just as healthy as a breastfed one, and I knew that if breastfeeding didn’t work out, all hope was not lost in being able to bond with my babies.
When people would ask me if I was planning to breastfeed my twins, I would tell them I was going to try my very best to breastfeed them, but if it didn’t work out, that I was not going to let myself feel like a failure.
And that is the very first word of encouragement I would give to an expecting twin mom. While I certainly believe it’s best to breastfeed, there are plenty of legitimate reasons to consider formula, and you are not a bad mom if you decide to feed your babies that way. I would, however, highly encourage you to Ask Yourself These Questions First Before Switching to Formula.
Okay, back to our journey.
Our twin girls were born at 38 weeks, so they were full term, and neither had any complications at birth. However, one of them weighed just under 6 pounds, and at our hospital that meant her glucose levels had to be monitored. I had started trying to breastfeed the twins in the hospital right away, but once she started failing her glucose tests, we opted for formula (rather than donor breastmilk) to help her stabilize her glucose levels. I was still breastfeeding her each time, but she was obviously less interested in nursing since I had to nurse her after she had the formula (and the glucose gel). Hospital protocol. Don’t even get me started.
Anyway…so there we were, we hadn’t even left the hospital and one of our twins had already been given formula. It wasn’t exactly the start we wanted, but we headed home determined to give breastfeeding our best shot. Did you notice I said “our” best effort? That was intentional and brings up my next piece of advice.
Breastfeeding is a team effort. It takes two to make a baby, and it takes two to take care of a baby. Throw an extra baby in the mix and let me assure you that it is crucial to have a present, helpful, and encouraging husband at your side.
Too many people buy into the line of thinking that feeding a baby is the “woman’s job,” and they just give dads a pass. To all the expecting fathers reading this, please hear me. Your wife needs you, and your babies need you. Get up in the middle of the night and help. There are a ton of ways to be helpful, and if you don’t know what to do, just ask. And moms, do not be bashful or feel guilty to tell your husband you need his help.
Now if I can get practical for just a moment, may I suggest that you purchase a Twin My Brest Friend Nursing Pillow if you’re planning to tandem breastfeed your twins. Along with that suggestion, I highly encourage you to try tandem breastfeeding at least once in the hospital while you have nurses nearby to help.
I had one nurse encourage me to try it there because she told me I would be a lot less likely to try it on my own at home. I’m pretty sure she was right, and I’m so glad I took her advice. My first tandem breastfeeding experience was in the Special Care Nursery at our hospital in a very uncomfortable chair in a very awkward position, and it certainly wasn’t smooth or graceful, but it was successful! And it gave me the confidence I needed to continue trying at home.
For the first couple of weeks, it was so awkward to tandem breastfeed. My husband had to help get the twins in position every time, and all I could think was, “How am I ever going to be able to do this on my own when he goes back to work?!” But I was determined to make tandem feeding work, so I attempted it on my own when I still had back-up available. It was difficult, but after doing it enough times, it got easier and easier, and by the time my husband went back to work I was completely comfortable doing it on my own.
Two lessons learned. First, don’t be discouraged if you need someone to help you those first several weeks as you’re learning to tandem breastfeed two newborns. Secondly, practice doing it on your own before you’re actually on your own. Confidence is key.
And what worked for me might not work for you. When I had full-time help, I would sit on our couch in the living room, and as I mentioned, my husband would help me get the twins positioned so I could nurse. Once I realized I needed to figure out the logistics for positioning them all by myself, I couldn’t figure out a method that worked for me where I could still sit on the couch.
This may sound crazy, but the only way I could tandem nurse on my own was to sit on the floor with my back against the end of the couch. I would use my nursing pillow, and I would always make sure I had my phone, water, burp cloth, and bouncer nearby. I felt comfortable this way because I didn’t have to balance all my stuff on the couch or a side table, and I had plenty of space to put a baby down without fear of her rolling off the couch.
I don’t think I could have pulled off tandem breastfeeding without the Twin My Best Friend Pillow, however, once my girls were a few months older, I found that it wasn’t working as well for me. We ended up switching to the Twin Z Pillow for the rest of their first year. I used it to nurse, and eventually, to bottle feed them. It is an absolute necessity to simplify life with twins, and I highly suggest purchasing one of these as well.
For the first two months I rarely left the house, so I was able to tandem breastfeed my twins pretty much every time. Whenever I would go somewhere, which was pretty much just church or a friend’s house, I would typically feed the twins one by one rather than tandem nurse. Other than some pumping in the first couple weeks to encourage milk supply and a little formula to get up to birth weight, I was nursing exclusively, and things were going pretty well……or so we thought.
We went in for the twins’ two-month checkup and were shocked to find out that one of our girls was in the 0.83 percentile for weight, and the other one was in the ninth percentile. Oh by the way, did I mention both twins had pretty bad reflux? (insert eye roll here). That didn’t exactly help with weight gain, and apparently neither one of our twins were all that great at nursing. Baby B was proficient at best, and Baby A was in need of immediate supplementation.
Pumping additional breastmilk was an option, but I wasn’t willing to do that because I felt like I was in complete survival mode already. I firmly felt that if I had attempted to pump on top of tandem breastfeeding, on top of trying to take care of two older children, I would have had an absolute nervous breakdown. Not to mention, the burden of pumping was going to affect our entire family, and the transition to life with “twinfants” was already hard enough on us as a family.
So…we began to supplement Baby A. I still nursed her as much as I previously had been doing, but we offered a little bit of formula after a couple of feedings each day. I wish I could say that was enough to get her back on track and that we exclusively nursed after that, but that’s not how our journey went.
Her weight only increased slightly with the added supplementation. In a nutshell, the rest of our journey included adding more and more bottles each day for Baby A, our little peanut, and then eventually we had to start supplementing Baby B once her weight began to drop off a few months later.
Eventually, we were offering so many bottles that breastfeeding just didn’t make sense anymore. The twins were getting just as much, if not more, formula than breastmilk, and we were just doing double the work. I was doing the work of breastfeeding but then still having to prepare formula and wash 75 bottles every day! (That’s what it felt like anyway.) After a whole lot of deliberation and asking ourselves these questions, we decided to switch to formula exclusively when the twins were seven months old.
It was a bittersweet transition. I was sad and disappointed that I didn’t make it the whole year breastfeeding them, but I felt a lot of peace knowing I didn’t have to worry anymore about whether they were getting enough to eat. I also had peace that we made the switch to formula for the right reasons and at the right time since we really took our time making that decision.
I can honestly say that I gave breastfeeding twins my best effort. And my best is not the same as your best. It can be tempting to look at someone else’s breastfeeding success and feel like a failure yourself, but comparisons are so not the point of motherhood.
You might be envious that someone else seems to have been successful, but you don’t know the whole story. That mom may have had to completely ignore her other children and her husband just to make time to pump. Or maybe she’s so insanely exhausted because of the many feedings that she’s struggling with depression. Or maybe, by the luck of the draw, she just got breastfeeding all-stars. It was nothing she did to deserve it. It just turned out that way. Who knows, maybe they are rock stars at nursing but terrible at sleeping…
The point is we’re all working with a different set of variables. So be encouraged; God doesn’t make mistakes. He chose you for your twins and your twins for you. Feeding them with breast or bottle is not easy. Those first few months are absolutely brutal, but you will make it! One day at a time. Sometimes one hour, one minute, one feeding, at a time. I know that sounds so cliché, but it is so true. Trust in God’s plan for you, and embrace the gifts in your arms, for they are little miracles so “beautifully and wonderfully made.”
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Isaiah 55:8-9
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